What can Intimate Partner Violence look like?
Intimate partner violence can include controlling behaviors, violence, and/or abuse. It can be verbal, emotional, physical, psychological, financial, and/or sexual.
Intimate partner violence can be a single act or a pattern of behavior in relationships. It is also sometimes referred to as Relationship Violence, Dating Violence or Domestic Violence.
Some warning signs may involve controlling behavior. This behavior may start out as an isolated incident, but may escalate:
- Not letting you hang out with your friends
- Calling or texting you frequently to find out where you are, who you're with, and what you're doing
- Telling you what to wear
- Having to be with you all the time
- Stopping you from leaving
- Controlling your spending or finances
- Monitoring your behaviors and whereabouts
- Deciding things for you that you should decide (like what to wear or what to eat)
Verbal and emotional abuse may include:
Belittling you (cutting you down) or humiliating you -- either in a one-on-one setting or in front of family and friends
Threatening to hurt you, someone in your family, or themselves if you don't do what they want.
Isolating you from friends and other people
Constantly accusing you of being unfaithful to the relationship
Saying that leaving the relationship means that you are admitting to being gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, or trans* -- or justifying abuse by saying your partner is not really gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, or trans*
Physical abuse may include: shoving, punching, slapping, pinching, shaking, biting, kicking, hair pulling, or strangling.
Sexual abuse may include: unwanted touching and kissing, forcing you to have sex, not allowing you to use birth control, and forcing you to do other unwanted sexual things.
Reporting, Resources, and Support
Being a victim of intimate partner violence is not your fault. Nothing you say or do gives anyone the right to hurt you.
If you believe that you are a victim of intimate partner violence, you can reach out to a number of resources on and off campus that can help you get safe, understand what happened, and decide whether or not you'd like to report the violence.