Textbook disclaimer stickers

This textbook contains material on evolution. Evolution is a theory, not a fact, regarding the origin of living things. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully, and critically considered.

This textbook asserts that gravity exists. Gravity is a force that cannot be directly seen. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully, and critically considered.

This book discusses heliocentrism, the theory that the Earth orbits around a centrally located sun. Students should be encouraged to fully consider the evidence for, and the evidence against, this interesting idea.

This textbook suggests that the Earth is spherical. Because a few delusional wackos still think the Earth is flat, while others insist it is oblate spheroid, teachers are urged to skip over this controversial topic in lesson plans.

This textbook states that the Earth is over 4 billion years old. Because this fact conflicts rather directly with a hugely popular fictional account, both sides of the argument should be taught to impressionable children.

This book promotes the theory of plate tectonics, the gradual movement of the major land masses. Because nobody actually witnessed the land masses moving, teachers should refer to the theory as unprovable.

This textbook contains a chapter about general relativity, a theory that very few scientists actually understand. And because Einstein was an atheist, it must certainly be incorrect.

This textbook suggests that the origin of life was a natural event. Because this view undermines the whole point of most religions, readers are encouraged to burn this book along with the author.

This book discusses God. The existence of entities with supernatural powers is controversial, and many believe that Gods, especially other people's Gods, are fictional.

This book explains the difference between a fact and a myth. If you feel this insight would in any way undermine your belief in magic, please close it immediately.

This book claims that fossil evidence strongly supports evolution. An alternative view embraced by "local folks" is that these fossils were planted by Satan to fool scientists into abandoning Divine Creation.

This book claims an Intelligent Designer (the man formerly known as God) carefully crafted all life on earth. Please turn your head away from the book when you spew coffee through your nose.

This textbook claims that evolution is not fully accepted by scientists because it is just a theory. The author hopes to confuse you into equating scientific theory with cockamamie theory.

This text confines the topic of evolution into a small, discrete chapter at the end of the book. The author missed the memo that evolution is the unifying principle in biology. This book is therefore, "lame".

This book was anonymously donated to your school library to discreetly promote magical, religious alternatives to the theory of evolution. Please reshelve it in the fiction section.

This book contains an evolution disclaimer sticker mandated by your local school board. For fun, submit an article that analyzes the impact of weakened science instruction on students' SAT scores.

This catalog features several dozen new cultivars of flowers, living evidence that species can change over time. Creationists should never, ever order anything from this company.

This book discusses evolution. President George W. Bush said, "On the issue of evolution, the verdict is still out on how God created the Earth." Therefore, until 2009 this material shood be aproched with an open mind, studeed carefuly, and critcly consid'rd.

Textbook Disclaimer Stickers