By Andrea Hammer
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Mary Lo Broomell Eberle (left, above) and Lyn Purdy Jones graduated together in 1940. During Volunteer Leadership Weekend this year, they still stood side by side in friendship |
Still central to their lives, Swarthmore friendships remain a guiding force despite the challenges of time. Several groups from the 1940s--a fraction of innumerable lifetime friends from Swarthmore--illuminate the mysteries of keeping these lifelong links connected.
Inseparable at alumni events, Lyn Purdy Jones '40 and Mary Lois Broomell Eberle '40 mirror each other in quiet modesty: crowns of white hair framing rosy cheeks, bashful giggles still percolating from their 20s, and exchanged looks of instant under-
standing from a golden friend. Jones, current class secretary, and Eberle, current class agent and class president, first met in 1936 as freshmen on the same hall in Parrish Fourth West--they said simultaneously. As roommates in their senior year, their friendship bloomed.
"Our brothers also became roommates at the College," Eberle said. "It just happened," Jones marveled.
Their common interests at Swarthmore have kept their steps in sync. Both were French majors, members of the Women's Student Government Association, and field hockey players who joined Gwimp--the sports managers group. After graduation, Jones and Eberle both also taught at Philadelphia's Friends Central School.
Continuing in rhythm, both married their College sweethearts in 1941 and "were in each other's weddings," Jones said. She betrothed Edmund '39, now a senior partner with Jones, Strohm, Crain & Guthrie, and had four children. Eberle wedded Charles "Buzz" Eberle '40, an avid athlete and class president who died in 1986; she also had 4 children and 13 grandchildren to rally her--in addition to longtime friends. Soon after her husband's death, Eberle wrote: "One doesn't realize how important friends are until something like this happens. My Swarthmore friends are my oldest and best."
In memory of her husband, who was active with Friends of Athletics at the College, Eberle supported the Eberle Internship Program for interns training to write about sports. In 1965, Jones and her husband also created the Edmund A. Jones Scholarship--keeping the spirit of their deceased son, Ted, alive by helping dozens of talented area scholars attend Swarthmore.
These lifetime friends have both been dedicated to community service activities. "We are both members of the League of Women Voters," said Jones, an active Swarthmore Friends Meeting member. Similarly, Eberle has given time and energy to the Unitarian Society of Germantown.
The College recognized their outstanding service to the College by bestowing the Joseph P. Shane Award on Eberle in 1990 and Jones in 1992. Both have taken turns as class secretary, class agent, and Alumni Council members.
In between writing Class Notes, which Jones hand delivers on deadline without fail, she shares Eberle's interest in Alumni College Abroad trips. "I've been on 25 of them," said Eberle, who has relished these opportunities to "learn from excellent professors and achieve a close feeling between Swarthmore alumni."
When they're not traveling, you can find Jones and Eberle sitting side by side at campus events like Volunteer Leadership Weekend, when they enjoyed bagged lunches together on a Kohlberg Hall bench. Their eyes sparkle with a shared zest for life, magnetizing two friends who radiate 60 years of common connections--with Swarthmore at the center.
Now living worlds apart, Don Smith '47 of Long Island, N.Y.; Phil Gilbert '48 of Kennett Square, Pa.; and Si Goudsmit '48 of Amsterdam, the Netherlands, have maintained a strong connection across the miles and years. In addition to e-mail and snail mail, they have never hesitated to stay in touch by telephone internationally.
"There may have been geographic distance," Gilbert said, "but psychologically, we always live around the corner from each other."
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Phil Gilbert ’48 |
Si Goudsmit ’48 |
Don Smith ’47 |
smit said. "My family lived in Holland, and Phil soon introduced me to his parents, who made me welcome when I visited them."
As a chemistry major who later received a master's in business administration from Adelphi University, Gilbert also learned many lessons from his friends over the years. "Don introduced me to Quakerism; Si introduced me to international affairs," he said. Now, "I am the same garrulous character. Don and Si are the same deep, quiet fellows. But I learned better and better to listen when they spoke, learning that whatever they said had thought behind it."
Goudsmit was an economics major at Swarthmore, who received a master's in business administration from Harvard. "Phil says that I am a private person, and that is probably true. But there are people with whom I intuitively connect and feel comfortable," he said. "In this type of relationship, years and distance are irrelevant: the friendship will stay constant."
As part of Swarthmore's Quaker matchbox, Don married Jane Ann Jones '48, and Phil committed himself to Alice Higley '48. In 1950, Si returned to Holland and married Dona Carrington '50. "Soon Alice and Phil paid a visit to Amsterdam, one of the many European trips that they took over the next 50 years," Si said.
On one trip, they were walking through one of the massive flower shows that are "regular fare in the Netherlands," Goudsmit said. "I noticed that every time I was thinking of making a turn, right or left, I found Si taking that turn," Gilbert said. Recently, the Goudsmits were able to visit the Gilberts, still sharing their interest in fine gardens.
Reflecting on the strength of the trio's lasting friendship, Gilbert added: "Most important, there has been nothing to come between us. We are three men, each married to the same women for 50-plus years, each rather successful in our careers, and none putting unreasonable demands on the others."
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Above from left: Some of the Round Robins--Patty Inglesby Thomas, Isabel Brown Galligan, Maggie Clough Schwertner, Geraldine Fink Wasserman, Lois Ledwith Frost, and Pat Plank Dickinson (left to right)--appear at the college in 1945. Right: the robins were reunited at a 1996 mini-reunion. |
"We spent a lot of time with each other," said Lois Ledwith Frost, the Round Robin organizer. "We shared meals and late-night gab sessions, agonizing over exams and papers and visiting in each other's homes over the holidays."
Now hailing from North Carolina to California and beyond, the same pattern continues--with the diverse group reconnecting during five-year reunions, mini-gatherings, and Round Robin letters. Frost sends a note to the group members, each responds to her, and then the entire package is circulated.
Winnie Muir Martinek, another Robin in Connecticut, said she eagerly anticipates the package. "When the Round Robin arrives each year, I drop everything to sit down and read!"
Before their 40th reunion in 1988, they decided to meet privately first--without husbands or children. The group was still hungry for more time together, so members met again for field trips to the Barnes Foundation in Merion, Pa., during 1990 and the Gardner Museum in Boston during 1992.
"A memorable [gathering] was in 1996," said Frost, "when all 15 of us met at the Media Inn for a weekend, chartered a bus to go to the Cézanne Exhibit, and had a wonderful time." Martinek also has vivid memories of the gathering, when they exchanged photos and reviewed their lives. "It was like being back on Second East, sitting around in our pj's, reminiscing about old times," she said.
As genuine friends who share joy as well as sorrow, they support each other unconditionally. "We have a telephone tree when tragedy strikes. Although we've been pretty fortunate, we have lost two husbands and a grown son--and there have been many divorces, both ours and our children's, to weather. In earlier days, we went to each other's weddings, which were always happy times," Frost said. Of the 15, 10 originally married Swarthmore men.
Nancy Burnholz Rawson--another member in Massachusetts, was a recipient of the group's strength on both ends of the spectrum. "When my husband, Ed '48, died in 1986, the Robins provided incredible support. Of course, they had all known Ed as long as I had. They shared our courtship, so somehow it lives on in a way it wouldn't otherwise. A couple of them had even dated him before I did! We all have a long history. In happy times, we share each other's joys," she said.
Martinek also received help from fellow member and accomplished potter Susie McEldowney Dean, who lives in Fairbanks, Alaska. When the stepson of Martinek's daughter, Barbara, was in a car accident in Denali Park and flown to a hospital in Fairbanks, "Susie and her husband helped.... It was an act of kindness on Susie's part that I am most grateful for," she said.
The Round Robins--from a psychiatrist to an avid gardener to an Antarctic traveler--thrive on their varied interests. "We're a diverse bunch, with a lot of different interests, which is why it's such fun to get together," Frost said.
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